Hilarious: A Man Under Influence Can Cage Hundrends Of Women Per Night, Here Is Why

Ladies tusadiane hapa….when a man is high in a pub & he randomly walks to feed you sweets words until you choke with feelings, please don’t take the man serious, don’t even take his phone numbers. Instead, look at the bottle he is drinking, take the number of the manufacturer say EABL, call them & scorn them for making booze that overly turn men into instant seduction geniuses.

Research has proved that when ordinary male species become booze-war heroes, they get so cocky, fearless and ingenious that one man can seduce all women on Tom Mboya street then jump over to Moi avenue to unwantonly continue his crusade against the new terrorist killing ladies in town called loneliness.

If you grab a man’s phone in the morning after an evening drinking session, you will see fresh messages like “hi sweetie” ” hi love” “oh you are the best I ever met” etc. But unbeknown to you, the man can’t even place those ladies sending him messages. He probably launched his inescapable mind-blowing manifesto under the influence of liquor & can’t even recall what ensued.

In the year of the locust, there was a time I woke up to a bomb-like sound on my phone, I didn’t rush to the police or media like Kalonzo Musyoka, no, I probed the sound & discovered it was a thunderous text from lady saying “Hi darling, I miss you already..wow..you such a nice guy”. So I called to ask “Who are you”, she was so broken to tears to imagine all those sweet words were the wisdom of Guinness. If only she took the number of EABL, oh she could have been a happy soul.

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Central OCS Begs For Mattresses And Blankets For Police Officers Whose Mabati Houses Were Burnt Down

About 54 police officers at the Central Police station in Nairobi are spending the night in the cold after a fire gutted down their houses on Friday morning.

National Disaster and Management Unit boss Pius Massai is appealing for donations especially mattresses and blankets for the affected officers.

“Following the unfortunate fire incident that happened today February 23 at about 10:00 am, fortunately, there was no injuries or loss of life. National Disaster Management Unit appeals for humanitarian support from well-wishers and friends,” Masai said.

Masai said the incident happened while most of the officers were away on duty.

He said most of them lost property including documents and household goods.

Masai said for a temporary measure while efforts to settle them are being made by their respective authorities, well-wishers are allowed to donate Shelters, utensils, furniture, mattresses, pillows, blankets, sheets, shoes and clothes among other necessities.

“Your donations can be received by OCS Central Police Station along University way, Nairobi,’ he said.

The fire is said to have started in a mabati house near the canteen behind the station believed to be an office used by DCI before spreading to residential blocks.

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“How MOHA JICHO PEVU Drugged And Conned Me” – US Based Woman

A woman called Hafidha Abu Ahmed has accused Moha Jicho Pevu of drugging and conning her. Here is what she said in her Facebook pages:

“Early January 2017 Mohamed Ali reach out to me while I was in the state through his friend who leave requesting for help to kickstart his campaign in Mombasa Nyali constituency. Though I was hesitant to help I made a promise to my friend that once I go back to Kenya in 3months time I will personally deliver whatever I can to him.

He kept on pressuring me with long text,but I didn’t bother so much because I was at that time paying school fees for my brothers and sister back home.

As Months passed by,one day I get a call from my friend telling me ‘Moha’ has been disturbing her so much that he really wanted to have my picture,so the deal was I send him the pics. I asked but why? She couldn’t explain. From her voice I could sense she was guilty of already my pics.

Anyway after along story she hanged up,but what kept coming back into my mind does Jicho Pevu want my contribution or my picture?

Few months later mid June I come back home Kenya. I stayed few days in Nairobi and decided to holiday in Mombasa.

After 3 days I text Moha informing him about my presence in the country and particularly Mombasa. I suggested to him to give his account no so that I could contribute whatever I could.

Moha Jicho Pevu suggested since I was in Mombasa we should do coffee at City mall and that he had a little appreciation as a gift for me.

So I show up at City Mall the following day at exactly around 3PM and Moha was patiently waiting for me with other 3 guys.

They left us alone and we had a little bit of chat,after 20minutes I asked to excuse myself and go back to my apartment. Moha again suggested he couldn’t take money in public so we should go his car and that he will give me the perfume he bought for me.

Black Rang Rover parked outside the coffee restaurant,he unlocked the key from the left side opened for me and went to the driver side. Without hesitation I hand him over the 300K as contribution towards his campaign.

This is where the hell happened now,Instead of giving the said perfume as a gift,he instead sprayed me I BLACKED OUT IMMEDIATELY!

The next place I find myself is apartment behind city mall,I was confused,the rest is history but I promise to share more”

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BREAKING! ODM Lawmakers Offer To Pay The Bills Of Former Celebrated News Anchor LOUIS OTIENO

Hon Millie Odhiambo has expressed her concern over the plight of former celebrated news anchor Louis Otieno. She said ODM MPs will do something to help Louis.

Here is what Mbita MP Hon Millie Odhiambo wrote on her Social media:

“Our attention has been brought to the plight of Louis Otieno who was a top media personality in Kenya, and we want to say as concerned ODM Members of Parliament that we are going to support him in whichever little way we can.”

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How Selling Nation Media To Kenyatta Family Will Affect The Industry

By Silas Nyanchwani

In 3 weeks, three key columnists are being shown the door from the country’s main media house. Those of us with a liberal and independent mind and disposition should start seeking asylum.

The world is more colourful when we gave dissenting opinion. Yes men always ruin the country.

There is a reason even those in Jubilee often say that “Raila, should remain in opposition”. Because surely they know someone must check the government.

Even when biased, the Kenyan media has criticized the government, exposed scandals and stirred some good debates.

With rumoured changes in ownership, we should be worried.
The economy will slow down, that is for sure, investor flight is likely, poverty, drought and famine will definitely create dissent. But to crack on dissent we have the police on standby, and now the media will be used for propaganda and misinformation, with litttle accoubtability.

We have choices. In America, in Philadelphia, a nonprofit organization recently acquired the main newspapers facing that were nearly going bankrupt. It has changed the game.

Not sure if the model can work in Kenya. Where the public funds an independent media through a nonprofit. We are in a bad place, and it is about to get worse. We can keep quiet and suffer or we can stand up and defend the constitution and institutions that guard it.

Media ownership greatly influences how the media works. But in private hands, it works slightly better than when owned by people who run the government. If you remember Silvio Berluscon, part of the reason he used to misbehave is because he controls so much in the Italian economy from banking, to sports, to the media. Read on his reign and hoq disastrous it was.

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Nation Media Kicks Out Dr David Ndii, His Column Stopped

It is understood that the decision was communicated by Nation Editor-in-chief Tom Mshindi to the Saturday Nation editors, who were instructed to ask Ndii to stop writing his column from next week. Effectively, this week’s column will be his last in the Saturday Nation, according to insiders at Nation Centre.

In the piece, Why IMF, CBK haven’t been telling Kenyans the truth about our debt, he takes on the two institutions for cooking numbers about Kenya’s economy, especially those relating to revenues, expenditure and debt.

“There is also a tautological problem,” he writes. “Our foreign currency reserves are healthy because they include the Eurobond and syndicated loan dollars. Without these, they would be precarious. Our export earnings have stagnated. The bankers are mixing up their stocks and flows. It is like taking an overdraft, putting it in a fixed deposit, and then your banker assures your creditors that they don’t have to worry about your cash flow since you have a strong liquidity position.”

An unapologetic government critic, Ndii’s exit comes a few weeks after Nation advertised positions for columnists and contributors to its various platforms and when there is the possibility of President Uhuru buying the Nation Media Group. He is also among NASA supporters whose passports have been suspended by the Government of Kenya.

It will be a major blow for the Saturday Nation since he has been one of the most read columnists not just on Saturday but in the entire Nation newspapers stable. His critical, and often controversial, take on economic and political issues won his massive following among Kenyan readers, admirers and haters alike. The Nation is likely to lose a good chunk of this market. And if Ndii is snapped up by its rival Standard, he could as well migrate with some of the readers.

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How The Kenyatta Family Plans To Make Kenyans Their SLAVES By Controlling The Media

By Anwar Saddat

There is a deliberate transfer of the resources of the nation to the hands of a few ruling elites, impoverishing the masses thereby making them susceptible to manipulation.

Their goal is simple- control the means of production and key sectors of the economy and everything else will fall in place.

They now control Kenya Power. Their hold in the news industry and misinformation is set to even increase as Uhuru’s family is set to buy Nation Media Group.

Soon, it’s not only the residents of Murang’a who will be lining up for water, one way or another, our daily life and existence will be interlocked with the kenyattas that they will be the authority metering oxygen to our lungs.

Uhuru Kenyatta has smartly aligned Kenyans as slaves unto their kingdom. The mismanagement of the Kenyan economy is not by mistake or due to external factors, but a cold; deliberate; and calculated scheme to control Kenyans.

Nyanya tukufu anatawala.

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