Dear Uhuru, you are the most idiotic President in the world

Dear Uhuru Bin Kenyatta,
My name is Alberto Nyakundi Amenya aka the Kisii Banana Peddler. I deal in bananas on the streets of Kisii town. Although I don’t like you, let me just fake some courteousness and say hello. You have failed nevertheless. Your mediocrity has exposed scores of colossal failures. I hope you are still enjoying yourself at the detriment of the poor taxpayers.

My brother Uhuru as the election nears you have not shown Kenyans verifiable achievements upon which you seek to be re-elected. Rather than the idiotic World Bank-funded rural electrification cosmetics you parade in the media, there is nothing to smile about. My friend, the four years you have been in office, you have not ruled progressively. You have ruled retrogressively. You are skittish and indecisive about your responsibility as President. You have proved to be unprincipled and irresolute. Your impuissance has economically malnourished this country. Kenyans are ashamed of you. The economic atrocities attributed to your administration are enough for Kenyans to say enough is enough.

Moreover, since you took over the instruments of power, our economy has evidently remained mono. Our country has witnessed shocking levels of unemployment. Insecurity and pesky power interruptions are a new normal. Poor healthcare and dwindling revenue allocations to Counties have remained a hobby to you. Under your idiotic administration, biting poverty and poor education standards are an open secret.
Mr. Uhuru, the four years you have been in office you have deliberately refused to create a system where everyone is equal before the law. Your “friends” Deputy and relatives are milking taxpayer’s money dry under your watch yet you celebrate them. Despite the loss of billions, no big thief has been jailed by your administration. Sir, if you don’t respect yourself, how do you expect Kenyans to respect you in return and grant you the undeserved second term you are dying for?

Boss, history will never forget the tumultuous years of your idiotic administration. During your ignoble reign as self-styled President, you have successfully made this country an international laughingstock.
Since you held sway at the helm of affairs, you have never respected the wishes of Kenyans. Nonetheless, do not expect them to respect you back. Being Commander-In-Chief, the greatest blame rests on your shoulder for doing nothing to protect helpless Kenyans in accordance to the allegiance you swore. You have done nothing but reward rascality, corruption, and impunity. Thank you for messing up all institutions in this country. The only prosperous institution in Kenya today is the Kenyatta family.

Mr. President, your administration condones evil and romances corruption. Here lies audacity. You have engaged the highest gear in the craft of outrageousness. You must surely go home come August if only to atone for the mad affront on innocent Kenyans.

Lastly, Mr. Armchair Commander-In-Chief, even as you seek re-election, Kenyans will keenly assess you in the last four years and score you appropriately with their votes. They will vote for you if you have delivered whatever you promised them in your manifesto. They will vote for you if you have successfully eradicated corruption and jailed big thieves like Waiguru. They will vote for you if you have revolutionalised their agriculture to provide employment and food security for the nation. They will only vote for you if they are satisfied with the level of security on their land today. They will only vote for you if their graduates have jobs. They will vote for you if their women can access free but quality maternal health care. They will vote for you if their children can access free but quality education. They will vote for you if none of their relatives has not been a victim of death traps on their roads. They will vote for you if no member of their community has never been a victim of kidnap for ransom. They will vote for you if they can travel from Nairobi to Mombasa in three and a half hours with the bullet train you promised them. They will vote for you if you assure them their natural resources are safe with your deputy and that no land belonging to the schools of their children is grabbed. Finally, but most importantly, SEYCHELLES sits on the 112,432-acre piece of land. BAHRAIN sits on a 164,325-acre piece of land. SINGAPORE sits on a 171,244-acre piece of land. HONGKONG sits on a 269,839-acre piece of land. MAURITIUS sits on a 504,094-acre piece of land and KENYATTALAND sits on a 558,000-acre piece of land. Kenyans will be lenient to you if you explain to them how your father single-handedly managed to acquire land whose size encompasses five countries.

Mr. Kenyatta, this time round Kenyans have to work out our salvation by voting for change in the next election. I still contend that change is the answer. Good luck as you retire to Gatundu but thank you for sinking us into this pathetic situation.Best of luck.

Yours disgustedly,
The Banana Peddler.

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