Sunday, January 24, 2016

WHY I will NOT MARRY a Pastor, Musician, Celebrity, Accountant and Policeman

By Dorcas S

There are men i would never consider for marriage. These include Pastors, Music Artists, Celebrities, Accountants and Policemen. I have friends in these categories of men. Some are great company and are fun to be with, witty and full of life. I have nothing personal against these men but as far as marriage is concerned, they don’t appeal to me.

Pastors are suave and dapper. They put on designer suits and wear expensive colognes. Their grooming is impeccable. The attributes that attract women to them are what remove them from my radar of potential mates. It is not fun spending sleepless nights worrying which woman my husband is counselling late at night or which woman “the lord has instructed him to go into a prayer and fasting session with” for three days and nights!

Women are always going to pastors and pouring out their marital problems. My husband is a drunkard, he has no time for me, he stopped being intimate with me etc. Some testerone filled servants of God take advantage of their flocks vulnerability to provide practical solutions! Talk of the shepherd preying on the sheep!

Music Artists are always out at night entertaining revellers in clubs and other entertainment spots. They are always in the company of beautiful young girls who double up as back up singers and dancers. More often than not they get into compromising positions with these girls as part of the show. Inebriated and smitten women will be seen removing their pants( if they have any) and hurling them at the musician. They follow the artist backstage and mob him. As a wife watching these unfolding scenario on TV with your children, how do you feel?

Celebrities include sportsmen, artists, thespians, news anchors and reknowned personalities. Women keep on hitting on them. Rich lonely old women entice them with expensive gifts and dream holidays in exclusive destinations and resorts. I do not want to spend all my life fighting off real and imagined women in my husband’s life.

Another category of men to avoid as husbands are Accountants. They are so mean even unto themselves. You will find them haggling over the price of a 50 shilling belt! They want to supervise the cooking. On the rare occasions that they buy a quarter kg of meat, they insist on counting the number of pieces and personally apportioning them to the wife and children.

Woe unto you if your relative or friends visited while they were away and you offered them food! You will be given a thorough tongue lashing or even sent back to your parents. They want you to shave your hair because saloonists are “expensive”. Their idea of a family outing is a matumbo eating session at Burma. Even there they will still complain of how “overpriced” the matumbo is!
Policemen are a no no! I wouldn’t touch any with a ten foot pole!

They are so immoral they sexually molest women convicts in exchange for freedom. They round up prostitutes and demand sex before releasing them. They do not use protection in these nocturnal activities. While they are busy soliciting for illicit sex and harrassing chang’aa brewers, thugs and other criminals are having a field day!
To a policeman you are guilty until proven innocent!

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